Thursday, January 6, 2011

Grain of wheat

Today I sat chatting with a wise woman. She is a generation older than myself, old enough to be my mother in fact - but I was not that lucky.

Today however I was lucky. I am slowly discovering that while most people really don't want to "know", occasionally it is possible to happen upon an unusual individual who has the capacity to sit with another person while that person relates hellish experiences beyond the nightmares of most.

This particular woman is a woman of God. She has studied deeply into theology (including a masters degree) and is an Anglican Reverend. She doesn't, however, pretend to have all the answers. In fact, most of my questions are met with another question.

Today I risked saying some things which I felt to be intensely shameful. At one point, when I couldn't even look at her she burst out with "I love you!" and started laughing a pure laugh I could share in. Yes, today I was lucky.

She has some quotes she likes. One from the Biblical story of the grain of wheat which needs to die in order to start life. And the other of a flower bud where the "risk of blooming is more compelling than the pain of staying in the bud". Both of these she uses as metaphors for my journey now to heal. Never having been a "girly girl" I have decided to name this blog after her "grain of wheat" rather than the bud. What follows then, will be my journey.